Parade of Whores

By Rod Pennington

Normally Charleston is a lovely place to live. It has a temperate climate, great restaurants, the ocean, history, etc. But every one year in four, it becomes the home for the “Parade of Whores.” Because South Carolina has one of the early primaries and could decide who is the next president, every few days we get visits from politicians seeking our support.

Being a solid “Red” state, all of the democrats have to suddenly find those “religious nuts”, gun owners and annoying Pro-Lifers something that must be courted. The reason they hold their noses and schedule multiple visits, since they front loaded the primaries in 1976; no one who has lost the South Carolina primary has ended up in the White House.

The democrats have been forced to shake the bushes and find some speechwriters who can quote scripture without sounding like a pandering idiot. Those stock spiels about the war and Gay marriage that gets the stand “O” in New York City or San Francisco don’t play as well in a town with a couple of military bases and the USS Yorktown floating in the harbor.

For a democrat to win the SC Primary they have to attract a majority of the Black vote – far and away the largest block of democrats in the state. To Hillary Clinton’s credit, she cut straight to the chase and bribed a powerful South Carolina Africa American politician and minister. Sorry, bribe may be a bit strong. For only $200K between now and the election, State Senator Darrell Jackson will be doing "Consulting" work for Hillary. Apparently Obama only offer $100K.

Say what you will about South Carolina, we have some of the best politicians money can buy. And until the primary season is over the pay window is open.

This pandering isn’t limited to democrats. Once a republican touches down in Charleston it is as if they’ve been reborn and the light of Jesus shines on them. For guys who think “John” is a bathroom, “Numbers” is a Friday night TV show, and “Genesis” is that thing they did in the Star Trek movie when Spock died, suddenly can preach fire and brimstone with the best Baptist in town.

Those of us that have lived through a few of these invasions of carpetbaggers know this new found warmth for the south will chill by next President’s Day when the primary is over. After that all those presidential wannabes can go back to thinking everyone living below the Mason-Dixon Line is closer to being a Neanderthal then an Ivy Leaguer. For right now, they need our votes.

Let the parade begin.

Charleston Bans Smoking

Charleston Bans Smoking

Legend has it that there was once a sign on all of the bridges leading into Charleston, SC, they stated “Welcome to Charleston. Unencumbered by Progress for the Past 100 Years.” Putting together “cutting edge” and Charleston in the same sentence is an oxymoron. Recently the Charleston City Council heard a rumor about something called second smoke. After a bit of research they were shocked to discover that cities such as LA and New York had banned smoking from public places.

Now, being one of America’s favorite vacation destinations, they couldn’t let those other popular spots do something they weren’t doing. Especially them damn Yankees from New York City. The last time the City got this riled they launched a few cannonballs out into the bay at Ft. Sumter which started the American Civil War.

With much hand wringing and gnashing of teeth by local bar and restaurant owners, Charleston City Council passed a ban on all smoking in public places. The non-smokers in the Low Country are breathing a sigh of relief; the bar and restaurant folks are threatening a law suit. Apparently they haven’t noticed that it is easier to find a place to park a dumpster then it is to find a place to smoke these days. Courts from one end of the country to the other have upheld these bans.

Generally we come down on the side of the Bill of Rights and the First Amendment’s Freedom of Assembly clause. If people want to gather and smoke a legal and highly taxed product, what business is it of local government? If no one is being held against their will in these places, where is the problem? We would find these laws easier to swallow if they gave restaurant the option of being smoking or non-smoking with signs clearly marked on the door. But the promoters of the nanny state are never willing to go along with this.

As non-smokers we’ve figured out what places to avoid because they are smoked filled. Smokebillowing out to street whenever the front door is opened is usually the first clue. In the West Ashley suburb of Charleston, you learn pretty quickly that you can lose sight of your server in the haze of the smoke at Manny’s and the food at the Map Room starts tasting like a nicotine patch after 9 pm. If one of these places wants to become a private club for smokers then let them go at it. Make it illegal for anyone under 18 to enter. If the bar owners think they can make more money than honoring the ban, so be it.

The larger concern is what will they target next? McDonald’s french fries haven’t been the same since the quit cooking them in lard. Then “trans fats” were bad. Remember “saccharin?” After winning the anti-smoking battle does anyone seriously think the “health Nazis” will disband and start leading a normal, productive life? Don’t count on it.

They can pry my key lime pie from my cold dead fingers.

Patriot’s Point

USS Yorktown

Mt. Pleasant, SC

Charleston, South Carolina has long been a popular tourist destination. Why not? It offers an historical district of some of the finest preserved early American homes, fabulous shopping and restaurants, antebellum plantations, the South Carolina Aquarium, great beaches and a temperate climate. Located just a few minutes from the major downtown attractions, just across the Cooper River via the striking Ravenel Bridge is Patriot’s Point.

If you’re a navel veteran or military buff, you will want to spend a day, maybe two, at Patriot’s Point. How often do you get the chance to wander around an aircraft carrier like the USS Yorktown (CV-10)? Plus, they also have the Coast Guard cutter, USCGC Inghan (WHEC-35) open for tours. Also on site is a World War II – Korean War ear Destroyer, the USS Laffey (DD-724). The Laffey won a Presidential Unit Citation for action off Okinawa, April 16, 1945. Also available for touring is the USS Clamagore (SS-343). The Clamagore is diesel submarine constructed near the end of World War II but arrived too late to see action. Until it was replaced with a fleet of nuclear submarines and decommissioned in 1975 and, it was a front line submarine during the Cold War.

USS Yorktown

If you’re coming to Charleston for a visit then the USS Yorktown is a must see. Looming on the horizon just across the harbor from the Charleston historical district, it is hard to miss. From downtown Charleston it is a quick trip up East Bay Street to the Ravenel Bridge – the view from the top is amazing. Stay in the right lane – there are a bunch of them on this new bridge and the first main street to the right leads to Patriot’s Point.

The Yorktown alone is a full day if you try to see it all in one bite. Be sure to wear your walking shoes. There is a lot to see but there are narrow steps and tight quarters. If you have trouble walking, climbing narrow stairs or you’re claustrophobic, this may not be the attraction for you. They have done an excellent job with signage and there are tons of historic pictures of the “The Fighting Lady” and her predecessor the CV-5 which was sunk in the Battle of Midway but not before it helped destroy the bulk of the Japanese fleet in the Pacific – including 4 of their 6 aircraft carriers. The Battle of Midway likely shortened the war in the Pacific by at least one year, maybe two.

The USS Yorktown that resides at Patriot’s Point is the CV-10. It was under construction at the Newport News Shipbuilding & Drydock Co. at the time of the sinking of the CV-5 it was originally was going to be named the “Bon Homme Richard.” With the loss of the CV-5, it was decided to rename the ship the USS Yorktown. It played a major role in World War II, the Korean War and the War in Vietnam. The USS Yorktown is the oldest aircraft carrier still afloat.

Inside the Yorktown is the Congressional Medal of Honor Museum which is currently being remodeled. If it is open when you visit, do not miss this exhibit. It is both moving and inspiring. Also on the hanger deck is a mock up of the Apollo 8 spacecraft that was pulled from the ocean by the aircraft carrier. Astronauts Frank Borman, James Lovell and William Anders were the first humans to orbit around the Moon. On January 3, 1969 they were on the cover of Time magazine as “Men of the Year.” Also on the hanger deck is a flight simulator that allows you to land a space shuttle.

Throughout the ship you can get glimpses of what daily life on an aircraft carrier was like. From bunks to mess halls, from the engine room to navigation, from the laundry to the infirmary, it is all open for touring. The beauty of the self guided tour is that you can set your own pace. One suggestion, don’t move too quickly and fight the urge to skip sections. Tucked in unusual corners are some really interesting displays. For example, deep in the bowels of the great ship is an interesting display of the Charleston shipyard and dry dock. The real crowd pleaser of the USS Yorktown is the flight deck.

On the flight deck is a collection of 25 different airplanes and helicopters including: an A-4 Skyhawk, an A-6 Intruder, an A-7 Corsair, an F-4 Phantom, an F-9 Cougar, and an F-14 Tomcat – the recently retired fighter made famous by Tom Cruise in “Top Gun.” Bring your camera for this stop. Not only are the aircraft interesting, the views of Charleston just across the bay and the Ravenel Bridge are spectacular.

Note: it can be quite windy on the flight deck and it may feel 10 degrees colder than the Mt. Pleasant shoreline. Dress accordingly.

If that not enough history for you, from Patriot’s Point in Mt. Pleasant you can also take a boat tour of Ft. Sumter – the place the American Civil War began. There is also a recreation of a Vietnam era base station to tour.

Patriot’s Point also features an 18 hole professional golf course and some nice accommodations. Plus it is only a few minutes from Shem Creek and some of the best seafood restaurants not only in Mt. Pleasant but in the entire country.

Patriots Point Naval & Maritime Museum
40 Patriots Point Road
Mount Pleasant SC 29464-4377
1-866-831-1720 (toll free)

Written by John Q. Wilson, author of the MtPleasantGuide.com and YourWestAshleyGuide.com .